I will never let go of you

"I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing it loud
You've been dealt the hard hand"

I can't express the pain I feel on this day every year. The time goes by and the pain remains. Jackson and I are getting bundled up to go to the exact place where we sit and remember....."It is like a huge hole has been punched through my chest, but in a way I'm glad. The pain is the only reminder he was real"

Please hold your baby today, love them, kiss them, hug them and never let go.

I love you

"My momma told me don't lose you
'Cause the best luck I had was you
And I know one thing that I love you"





"I've been a lot of places all around the way
I've seen a lot of joy, and I've seen a lot of pain
Seems like everywhere I go The more I see, the less I know but I know one thing I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you...."

Happy Birthday Granny

Granny's birthday was October 3rd. We went to the pumpkin patch to celebrate!

Risks

It has been too long since I posted. Things have changed dramatically for us in the past few months. All of the changes have been about taking risks.
Jackson and I are no longer moving for the KC job. I ended up turning down the career changing job as a manager/director of a major referral children's hospital. What was I thinking? I was thinking about how Jackson would do so far from his family. It is amazing the clarity that comes with having a child, suddenly his happiness trumps your career goals. The KC location also proposed some challenges for my "side job"---Oneiric Consulting Group(www.oneiricgroup.com).
My partner and I recently opened the doors and it is amazing how quickly things started happening. Let's hope it continues. On the housing front,we are still looking. Trying to land a place in Chicago and Hawaii is difficult. Im trying to figure out where we are going to be for the next few years and buy there. If I will be working out of CDH, I want to be close to I-88,if I will be working at the new campus in 2012, I want to be close to the center. The Hawaii vacation spot will come after that. So, as of now, I'm sitting pretty, saving money and allowing my parents to eat time up with Jackson. On the love front.....there is no greater love than Jackson, but it feels so good to be happy. Jackson loves his life and he laughs a thousand times a day. He is perfect. He is growing up so fast and I'm loving every minute of him. I have yet to see the terrible twos, but he did just turn two about 4 minutes ago. ;)I am excited to see the next risk we take!

Half of my Heart

...."Half of my hearts got a grip on the situation, half of my heart takes time"....Jackson and me at Lanikai, one of the most beautiful places on earth!

Welcome Back

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My parents came with us for the first few days. It was great to show them Hawaii and It was great to have some pictures taken of Jackson and I :) These are a few pictures from the luau.


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This trip to Hawaii was the first with Jackson.It was amazing....so amazing we are now looking for a place to buy. I was able to show him places that are so close to my heart and tell him stories about times I will never forget and he will never remember, hahahaha. The next couple days I will posts pictures of our time there with some small comments. Hopefully you all enjoy!

Oh,I know how many people were nervous about the flight(as I was) It was 9.5 hours long,Jackson slept for 2 of those hours and cried for about 2 minutes. I kept him busy with books and stickers. As we landed in Hawaii Jackson was looking out the window and he said, "wow mommy" I just looked and him and said, "wow is right Jax, this place is magical" It was the perfect start!

Update!!

Missy

I can't believe how long it has been since I posted an update. There has been so much going on. I will try to give a little update and post at least one picture of Jax, so everyone can see how big he is.
Over the past few months Jax and I have been on quite the journey. Between Hawaii and relocating it appears time has flown by. I am getting ready to step into my new role and I am very excited about it! Hopefully everything works out :)


Jax

Jackson is unreal. He amazes me everyday. He is so smart. Only after meeting him could you understand what I mean. Jackson knows the whole alphabet.(I don't mean the song)If you ask him to spell simple words, such as, mom he will go to his letter board and get the m,o,m. He can count to 20 and he talks in 3-4 word sentences. I read to Jackson a million times a day and He will tell me what book he wants to read, when he wants to read it and go get it for me. He is a very complex thinker. He will remember meeting people, their names and who lives in their home...even pets. I could go on for hours about the things Jackson knows! I am so proud of him and he is still so little.

It turns out this isn't a great update. I just wish everyone who is far away from us could meet him and see how amazing he is. I will post the Hawaii pictures once we get everything settled. Hopefully once the ride slows down I can get more pictures up for everyone. See you soon!

Sunday Funday!!!

"Why can't life always be this easy...."

Lazy Hazy Friday...

He is such a good helper!

more milk please.

About to look in the mirror.......again.

Merry Christmas indeed.

Jackson,
"Thank you for letting me experience the kind of love that people freely die for"